ABORT MISSION! I lasted all of 23 hours on this non-smoking kick. Wow. Possibly a record low for me. I’m keeping the day counter as a constant reminder of my failure and hoping it spurs me on. Meh.
Last night I got beers with the boys. Brandon, who works for a government institution, was out after a work softball game with several of his colleagues, and I met up with them and another friend of mine, Benny and Benny’s roommate. Good times were had, cheap beer was imbibed and country tunes were belted.
Now, Benny is a really good friend of my brother Mark. He and I get to spend time together alone because Mark lives a really long way away, and Benny is cool kid. Brandon wants me to date Benny. I don’t think Benny is interested, and I’m not sure I am either. But he is cute. Really cute. And really nice… so it bears reconsideration…We’ll reevaluate after this weekend’s KY Derby party when all will be in drunken attendance.
And finally – I have plans to meet up with a girl friend from my teenage years that I haven’t seen in, oh, 12 years? FB, natch. Am I total freak for being nervous and feeling like this is a date? I have to make small talk! And seem interesting and fun! And like I have accomplished something in the last decade! Argh. I know it is not actually a date. It is a girl, for goodness sakes! But it still makes me nervous. Did I mention I’m shy? Good practice, I suppose, for if and when a boy ever asks me out.
Maybe she knows some nice folks, and who couldn’t use more friends?
Lib’s Sad Corner of Saddy-Sad-Sadness
(I’m instituting a new feature (because its my blog, and no one reads it, and I can do what I want). In an effort to limit my post-break-up blahness, I will confine my depressive girly musings to an addendum at the end of posts. That way, you can skip it if you don’t like your morning coffee with a dose of melancholy.)
How do you let go? Now, I realize this is neither a new nor a profound question, but I’m being real. How do you look at three-plus years with someone and just say "nope. no more. i’m done with you. have a nice life – but don’t tell me about, k? thanks."? Every logical and rational part of me knows (1) it can be done and (2) it should be done. But there is still that nagging pain that wonders, how? Now, the actual how is easy (obvs) – I just don’t contact him. Ever. But it’s difficult coming to terms with the fact that I likely will not speak to Tom again. If I am honest with myself, I don’t want to be his friend. That was never our relationship. I have no interest in being there for him through next relationships, and after his heinousness, I don’t think that will change. So it's really, really done. But how do you move on?
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